12.19.22 | 4something a.m.
"What is causing you to stumble?"
While there have been different people/situations in my life I'm not fond of, and instances where I've tried to blame my shortcomings on them , I had to be brutally honest with myself and admit, I was causing myself to stumble. It was through various trials, GOD revealed to me the tribulations I faced weren't always a result of my actions, but a chance to reveal what's truly inside my heart.
There have been instances where I was literally minding the business that paid me and GOD gave me a pop quiz (you know when things unexpectedly hit the fan), and to be fully transparent I've failed & passed. But when I've failed,I noticed it was a ramification of my heart not being postured towards GOD like it should've been. And everything, I mean everything that came out of my mouth during these pop quizzes did not reflect the Christ I claimed to represent. But when I took time to get back focused and centered in GOD's word, my response changed. *Disclaimer: all of my responses are still not the best, but I now recognize the cause of my problem and know how to move forward in fixing it.*
this is when the term D I V O R C E came to me...
Yes, there is another meaning for divorce outside of the one that pertains to marriage. Mirriam-webster defines it as :
"To separate or disassociate (something) from something else; break-up, divide, disconnect, sever, detach, disjoin".
And breaking down the definition prompted me to think about what characteristics I needed to divorce myself from. Once again, I'm faced with being looking at myself in the mirror: I needed to sever ties with my ego. I needed to detach from my Sunday routines and get my butt back in church consistently. I needed to disconnect from social media here & there, so I could read my bible (fast & pray). I had to break-up with old way of thinking that, "if people wouldn't try me I wouldn't act this way." No. No. NO! The Lord showed me I'm this way because I was married to pride, rage, unhealthy anger, and a host of other things He doesn't approve of.
Let me give you an example: I find it rather difficult to deal with my enemies. I'm not the saint that always thinks first to pray for people who do me wrong (not bragging on it, just being real & I really want better for me). Though I can honestly say I do pray for them at some point, it just depends on where my "spiritual tank" is. If it's on full and I'm filled with the Spirit, I'll probably react in a way that is pleasing to GOD. But if my tank is on E, I'm filled with things that contradict His word, and I'm acting all kinds of crazy. But again, I stumble with people that do me wrong (or with my "pop quizzes") because I'm connected to characteristics that are not conducive to the woman GOD has called me to be; my heart isn't postured in the proper place, and that's in Christ Jesus.
This post came to me in the "wee hours" as a moment of reflection. I wanted to share because I know around this time of
year people are making plans for 2023: weight loss, more money, marriage, kids, new jobs, new year new me, etc. But While you prepare to achieve these things, you have to be fully honest with yourself, too... "what is causing you to stumble? What is holding you back from the life GOD has for you? What (and maybe even who) do you need to divorce yourself from?" Eating cheeseburger everyday won't secure those abs by the summer, not properly managing the income you already have won't get you the increase, and being with the same lousy man or woman won't get you the marriage you desire.
So I want to end on that note: Divorce yourself from the things that break GOD's heart (and cause you to stumble and miss out on the blessings GOD has for you), because He wants the best for you (us)!